I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
