I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
