you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
