belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
