did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize