I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize