But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if i can run in heels then i can drive
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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