I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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