New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
