All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
