Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
