They should really pass out barf bags in church
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
