I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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