Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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