Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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