Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
