wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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