I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
