the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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