I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
