We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
