My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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