im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize