how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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