Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize