You really coming over, don't trick.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
