the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
