He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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