He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
