R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
