So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize