there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
