Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
