Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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