just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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