it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
