Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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