Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
