Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
