Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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