oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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