Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
