where does the pee come out of this thing
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
