walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
