Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
