oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize