I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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