Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
