It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize