she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
