Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
