my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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