Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
