im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
