there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
