I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
