i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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