i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
