I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
