my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
