Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
