He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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