Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
